SUCCESS!

When I was fresh to the city of Vancouver I met up with a really awesome, successful, friend and discussed my goals with him.

He told me, "The best thing you can do for yourself is define your own version of what 'success' is."

My world seemed to both expand and contract all at once. My thoughts went something like this:

"So...

Wait.

I get to define my own version of success? Not rely on what the media says? or what I think society expects? ... it is up to me? ... whoa."

Since then I have worked on defining and redefining that term for myself and here are some 'goal-posts' I've come up with to know whether or not I'm on the right track. Hopefully they are of some use to you:

Am I enjoying the journey?

If the end-point is the goal and our ultimate end-point is death... focusing on it means I'll completely miss out on enjoying life. I highly value experiences with loved ones; hikes, trips, or adventures together are memory-making and so amazing.
So the real question is, 'am I enjoying my life?' if not, why not and what am I willing to do to change it?

Do I feel valued?
The first part in this one is to value myself. When interacting with others, I take the time to consider what would be necessary to have everyone involved come away feeling like they got the best part of the deal - myself included. If we can all sit with and ask for what we feel will honour ourselves, I think our interactions would warrant much more happiness.

Am I being true to myself?
Have you ever walked away from a conversation and felt that 'ugh' feeling? Maybe you didn't speak up on behalf of a friend, sacrificing one of your values to seem more agreeable. It's okay. I think it is human to not always speak up and there is a time and a place - however, I like to review interactions for the sake of seeing if I can improve the next time I'm in that situation.

You may have noticed that none of the above include: money, fame, or material things. Those are fine to pursue, they just aren't how I define success for myself.

I think what I'm trying to get at with this post can be summarized nicely by Anne Sweeney.

"Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you're proud to live."

—Anne Sweeney

I would love to hear your thoughts on what being successful means to you.

- M

*M, my mother has stressed the importance of defining success for myself since I was a little girl. I love that we have both received this very valuable advice and have taken it to heart. I value our process and I so value you. - J